birthday ponderings

It's my birthday today and as it always comes on the heels of a new year, I look back and ponder what has changed in the past 365 days of my life. With one exception (30), my birthday has always been a time of celebrating. I enjoy getting older, which is unlike so many adults that I know.

Why is this? Maybe because I enjoy new experiences and each year I have been granted these wonderful things that make life interesting and shape me as a person. I like the fact that life keeps moving (most of the time) even when life is good (like now). The varied people that I call my friends help to expose me to new things. Every person that I call my good friend has left a piece of themselves with me and I'm better for it. I will teach Riley to choose his friends well as this is the blessing of the truest kind – the fragrance left in your soul is sweet.

Another reason I like birthdays is that I'm able to see how I continue to change, to evolve and become the woman that I was meant to be. Though this awareness is coupled with a heightened perception of my failures – I keep uncovering more and more – I'm able to see where I'm improving in an area or two that I have been working on. Because I'm in the perpetual state of self-improvement, birthdays give me a chance to see those changes and the courage to work on other issues during the coming year. It helps to have a husband who loves me with all my warts and still thinks I'm worth living with for the rest of his life…someone who believes in me and is confident that my lofty goals are achievable with God's help.

37 was an extraordinary year for me… the first pregnancy, the first baby, the first nursing, the first round-the-clock childcare, the first juggling of job and family responsibilities -- it's hard to imagine a year that can top this one. (I've been told many times that being a grandparent is even better; I guess we'll have to see about that.) Being Riley's mom has been a blessing beyond imagination, and I imagined it to be pretty wonderful. Being someone who was raised to be self-sufficient, I don't do well with dependant types. I don't like to be needed – it invades my emotional space. I wasn't sure how I would do with someone so utterly dependant on me for everything. I was happily surprised to find that I didn't mind sacrificing my comfort (& sleep) for Riley – maybe because I expect him to need me and therefore don't mind being needed. I'm all-too-aware of how fleeting his neediness will be. I cherish the fact that he still enjoys snuggling with me anytime I want it as he'll have more interesting pursuits in a few short months when he goes mobile.

I typically live in the future, looking forward to the next thing. At 38, I am definitely living more in the here and now as I want to savor this time with my family. There will never be a time in my life like this again. Jim Elliot said, "Live each day to the hilt that you believe to be in the will of God". I'm living it to the hilt and smelling all the roses along the way.

Shelby

ps: To my 20-something friends -- the 30's are even better!

christmas

Christmas was entirely different this year than it ever has been before. Having our boy puts the holiday in a whole new light. There is, of course, the gift giving. It's fun and very different with our seven month old boy. Before heading to CT to share the holiday with the Berg clan we had our own celebration:

Riley opens his very first Christmas present









Riley loves the rattle and bug Grammy and Poppa gave him











Riley's first presents









Momma got the Buffy she wanted









Daddy got Foyle's War (yeah!)









Amazing how babies always seem to love the simplest things...









At my parents house there was the usual joyful mayhem associated with the opening of presents:


Riley got a cool rocking horse from Grandma and Grandpa









Cool blocks that have things inside that move











The cousins playing with their presents









Family time is now totally different as well. Riley is already such an extrovert that his time is taken up with a variety of relatives other than his Mom & Dad. His cousins love playing with him:

Bruce plays with Riley and Riley's new bear









Brendan and Riley play with Riley's new horse









Britney, Bruce and Riley









Aunts and Uncles get their chance...

Aunt Claudia and Uncle Drew with Riley









Grandma and Grandpa Berg have to get their Riley time as well...

Grandpa hangs out with our boy









Grandma's shoulder makes a fine bed









There are also different spiritual lessons that having a seven month old bring to light. I have the feeling of having been given an awesome gift that Mary and Joseph likely felt when holding their newborn boy. I am amazed that our God would think to come and live on earth in such a fragile and helpless form when Jesus could have just 'appeared' fully grown to do his work had he so desired. We celebrate the gift of a child. But more, the gift of a savior who lived the sinless life that we can't and suffered the penalty that we now won't have to.

I look at my boy who is the greatest present I have ever been given in an earthly sense, and I'm reminded of that other child who came to bring me home to God. A greater present I could not receive. Thank you Lord on both counts!

Merry Christmas!


Jonathan

7 months old!!

Here’s some of what Riley’s up to at 7 months:

Gross Motor Development:
His ability to sit unassisted has improved, but we’re still not quite there yet. He’ll lean forward in the gorilla pose and when he decides to sit up, he overshoots and falls backwards. Or else, he'll start leaning to the side and he doesn't bother to try and fight the force of gravity. Here's some video of his progress:

Since he’s able to do tummy time for longer periods, we’ve seen his neck and upper back strength improve as he lifts his chest higher off the ground now. Here he's practicing his yoga and demonstrating the cobra pose:









Also, he’s rolling both back to belly and belly to back now and moves around by twisting his body while on his tummy. In a matter of minutes he will travel by rolling, twisting and scooting so I do have to keep a better eye on him than I used to.

He seems to prefer standing to sitting. If I grab his hands he’ll stiffen up his legs in hopes that I’ll pull him to a standing position. He clearly enjoys it, so we are letting him work on this skill as well. Daddy took some video of his progress:


This morning after his bath he hung on to the side of the tub...I was there to catch him just in case:












Fine Motor Development:
The kid grabs for anything he can, I really have to watch him now as he'll lunge for whatever is within reach. He doesn't necessarily put things in his mouth, but he likes to see if it makes noise or if he's in the high chair or bumbo seat, to see what happens when he drops it. The two toys that he does pop into his mouth are his colored links and his smiley face toy, which is a cloth toy with a rattle in the top:









Language Development:
No, he's not babbling yet, just makes a lot of noise and funny sounds. He knows his name however, and will stop what he's doing to look at us when we call him by name. We continue to see that he’s much more interested in people than toys – our little extrovert. He enjoys reading Barnyard Dance!, The Foot Book as well as the Rhyme Bible Storybook.

Social Development
He enjoys playing peek-a-boo, tickle games and looking at his (or our) reflection in the mirror. He still enjoys his jumper or sitting in the Boppy but gets bored of his toys -- he'd rather have us there to interact with him. He's not one to play on his own for more than 5-10 min before he starts looking for us to play with him.

He is showing a preference for being held and letting us know when he feels we're not doing it enough. No stranger anxiety as of yet -- he'll go to anyone and still flirts with any lady who pays him attention.

Eating and Sleeping:
He’s eating two meals of solid foods each day with varying success depending on his mood. Typical meals are cereal and veggies, hard-boiled egg yolk/white potatoes/plain yogurt, and meat/sweet potatoes. He gets fruit (usually apples or pears) for dessert. He continues to take 4 bottles a day for a total of 20 oz of formula. On his 6 month blog, I mentioned I was working on getting avocados into his diet. I finally found a way to do so -- by combining it with HB egg yolks and greek yogurt. Here's the satisfied boy after such a meal this morning:









So, I'll leave with the best of the photo shoot today... he was having fun with Pooh Bear:




























"Jingle Bells...Batman Smells..."









"....Robin Lays an Egg..."









Ha Ha, I crack myself up!!










We love our Riley-boy!!

Shelby

early christmas present

Riley's first Christmas present came from our friend Max who lives in Singapore. He sent him a lighted globe that lights the ceiling up like a planetarium. Riley was fascinated both by the globe and the music it played. Here's a picture:














Thanks for the cool gift Max! You're missed and we wish you were a lot closer. Good luck with your mice!

Jonathan, Shelby & Riley

white christmas

This is what we have after three snowstorms in one week:

They say we're an inch away from a December record. Anyone who knows J will know how unhappy he is at the sight of this. I, on the other hand, just wish I had more time to play in it.

Shelby

lessons from lullabies

We’ve been fortunate to have such an easy-going child that we rarely hear him cry. Maybe once a week he’d squawk briefly about something, but that was about it. We’re just not accustomed to him being upset ver yoften.

Well, after hitting the ripe old age of 6 months, Riley’s begun to express his discontentment with various situations that he finds himself in. Yes, we have a willful, self-centered child (hmmm, must take after his mom!) who’s beginning to express his objections to choices that we make for him. He cries at meals, in the Bumbo, in the car, in his crib…on a daily basis. I know what you're thinking -- how normal!

This afternoon, I needed to run a couple of errands after picking him up from daycare, so he hollered in the car seat from Reading to the North Shore Mall. He was perfectly content to be in the stroller (lots to look at!) and as soon as I put him back in the car he started wailing again until we got out at Target. When we left Target, he started up again. I remembered that I had my iPod which had all the Indelible Grace albums on it. (For those who are not familiar with Indelible Grace, this is a series of cds of old hymns put to new music by a group of musicians in Nashville.)

Anyway, I was flipping through the songs and found “The Love of Christ is Rich and Free” which is a William Gadsby hymn that I’ve been singing to Riley since he was a newborn in the NICU at Children’s Hospital. It’s become one of my favorite hymns as it reminds me of the eternal, persistent, unchanging love of God for those who are His, regardless of their performance:

His loving heart engaged to be

Their everlasting Surety;

’Twas love that took their cause in hand,

And love maintains it to the end.

He loves through every changing scene…

Not all the wanderings of her heart

can make His love for her depart.

Love cannot from its post withdraw;

Nor death, nor hell, nor sin, nor law,

Can turn the Surety’s heart away;

He’ll love His own to endless day.

Riley hadn’t heard the “original” version of the song, so I put it on to see if he’d calm down a bit. As soon as Derek Webb began singing, Riley went from a wail to totally quiet. It was as if he recognized this song from when I sang it to him as a lullaby. I thought of John the Baptist, leaping in his mother’s womb when the Messiah drew near. It’s not impossible for me to believe that my infant son is already beginning to be affected by the gospel – something he cannot understand cognitively and yet can respond to by quieting himself, listening and accepting what he’s given.

It’s our deepest hope that Riley will know that he is eternally loved by the God that created the heavens and the earth and made a way in which sinners can be adopted into His family. Riley’s understanding of the love of Christ will be shaped by how Jonathan and I love him and that puts us on our knees begging for wisdom and grace to make the right choices in our parenting. At times we will need to say no to the thing that Riley wants because we want to give him something infinitely better. I hope that our son will begin to understand what it is to walk by faith when we ask him to obey even when he doesn’t understand why and that I will more readily accept my Father’s will even when I don’t understand. Lessons to be learned by all. God have mercy.

Shelby

it's been one crazy week...

For starters, I took my first trip away from my boys in order to attend a cash management seminar in NYC. Those last three letters will tell anyone that knows me fairly well that I was ambivalent about the trip. I love New York -- love, Love LOVE going there. This time, my excitement was tempered at times with missing J & Riley. I realized my first night there that it's not as fun when the ones you love dearest aren't with you. I enjoyed myself in spite of missing my boys but hoping the next time they will be with me.

J sent me these pictures on Sunday night showing me how Riley spent some of the afternoon:

Riley is getting better at sitting up on his own:









He does lean a bit at times...









And sometimes goes down altogether...









I did manage to see my friend Abbie, who was due to deliver
her firstborn son last Tuesday. She remains a lady-in-waiting
to date. Here's the beautiful mom and dad (Brian) about to
have their lives change forever:










I always think food when I'm in NYC...I got to eat a lot of sushi and visit my favorite place for afternoon tea -- Alice's Tea Cup. Oh yeah, and I learned about treasury stuff, which is helping me as I prepare to take a professional exam in January.

So J played single dad for a few days. The second night, Riley woke up several times with what J thinks was gas. So neither of them slept well that night. Thankfully, he was good for our friend Alecia, who watched him in the late afternoon /early evening until J got home.

I got home late Tuesday night and had to take Riley to Children's for a checkup on Wed morning. They do this every six months to monitor his progress. Riley didn't take his usual morning nap so he was tired and not "performing" for them, which gave me the urge to explain everything away to them so the doc wouldn't think that he was slow or something. He wasn't his usual active self and showed little interest in playing their "games", so I wasn't totally surprised when they recommended that I meet with Early Intervention...again. They were concerned about his lack of torso strength and his preference of using his right hand that they saw. I'm not sure it's really that big of a deal -- I mean he's only 6 months -- but since they won't see him again until next summer, they may want to have it checked out, just in case.

All I know is that I felt defensive when they suggested that he was delayed in these areas. I know that moms can relate when I say that it felt like a verdict on my parenting. Why do I take the blame for these things?? I came home feeling like I had failed him because I have to work outside the home and leave him with someone else who can't focus these things like I would if I had more time. So all this stuff is connected to my working outside of my home when I'd rather be my boy's full-time caretaker. Later on, when he's probably doing all the things that boys his age are doing, I'll realize how silly I was for making such a big deal about it in my mind.

Anyway, we finished with the neurologist and she told me they needed one more blood test, so I had to subject my tired child to the needle. The first time, they poked around and never did hit the vein so he was miserable and I wasn't much better. I prayed that God would help them to find the vein on the other arm and thankfully they did. I hate seeing my boy in pain -- even for less than a minute.

By the time we got home, it was too late to go in to work, but I had to stop by there to grab a few things to bring home. So Riley-boy got some good lovin' from our front desk receptionist Deborah and reportedly charmed the ladies of the office who came by. Being tired, my snuggle-boy was even more snuggly which makes him even more adorable. Here's a shot of Deborah and Riley enjoying the Christmas tree:










Thursday, a snowstorm blew in so we came home in the early afternoon. We got to enjoy a rare afternoon together as a family which was great after being away earlier this week. We noted how often Riley does use his left hand (a lot) which adds to our suspicion that what the doc saw was not normal for our boy. He's also doing well at standing -- maybe even better than sitting. Here's some shots we took:




























It's good to be home, back in my own bed, being with my family....

Shelby

poop (this entry is dedicated to Justin...)

Something that I never really thought much about before was poop. Especially another person's poop. It's a private thing and with the exception of one time in high school when there was a big one in a toilet that wouldn't flush down (all the guys had to run in and see it) it's been something that doesn't really come up much in conversation. There was an article in Fit Pregnancy that Shelby picked up about a year and a half back that talked about the phenomena of discussing your baby's poop and I wondered if I'd ever end up like that. Well, like so many other things in my life since Riley appeared on the scene, this too has changed.

I realized this two weeks back after Riley suddenly woke up at 3:50 am screaming bloody murder. Shelby and I were both in his room trying (unsuccessfully) to comfort him as he wailed on. This was an extremely unusual thing (Riley rarely even cries, let alone wails--especially not in the middle of the night) and we were at a loss. I finally figured that I'd change his diaper and found that he was constipated. Poor little guy. I helped him with his problem and he calmed down after a couple of minutes and in a short time was back to sleep. It was after this that I realized how often Shelby and I (and even Diane, our daycare provider) talk about his poop.

Amount, consistency, color (or color combination) and frequency are all subjects for discussion. And after our 3:50 am wake up call, we really discuss frequency. We discuss it and plan on how to keep the frequency high (prune juice seems to work).

So like so many other things (i.e. getting spit up on, drooled on, woken in the middle of the night, etc.) the uncomfortable becomes the norm with baby. It's amazing the changes that have been wrought in Shelby and I by this little guy's mere presence in our lives.

We love it, and we love our boy!


Jonathan

oh christmas tree...

Last Saturday night we put up our Christmas tree. Knowing of our baby boy's love of bright, shiny things (especially lights of all kinds) we could hardly wait to see what his reaction to the tree would be. So Sunday night we put him in his Bumbo seat on a chair in front of the as yet to be lit tree. The first thing he did (of course) was to look right at the camera and smile. Not what we had in mind, since we wanted to see his expression when the tree lit up:










We do have our boy trained I guess... So since Riley wouldn't turn to face the tree, (not surprising since he had no idea what it was) we turned the tree on anyway. I wish I could show you the video of his head snapping sideways to look at the tree. Here's a picture of him in rapt attention to the tree:










I never thought lighting a Christmas tree could be so much fun.

We love our boy!

Jonathan