I've been debating for weeks whether or not to post this as it is "news" to most of our blog readers (at least the ones I know are reading) -- which is strange as we Bergs tend to be pretty open about the goings on in our lives. I've decided to commit to the story, even if the succeeding chapters become more difficult to write.
Yes, I'm pregnant -- 8 weeks to be exact. Due date is March 29th. We're excited to have another child and to give Riley a homegrown playmate. I didn't feel like we were missing a child, but I am excited about adding another member to the family. I look forward to Riley taking on the role of big brother and caring for his sibling. Nicole (his daycare provider) says he will be a great big brother, judging by the way he treats her son Dominick.
At the same time, I'm more than a little aware of the miscarriage possibility. Not just because of my age (40 is just around the corner), but having known several women who lost second pregnancies. It's more on my mind this time than it was with Riley.
I find myself not entering fully into the joy of our expectant child until I hear that heartbeat. It's like I'm waiting to really be able to celebrate. I say this to some and they dismiss my concerns by saying, "Oh, everything will be just fine". Probably it will be just fine. But things do go wrong and is it really that awful if I hold back a bit until I get past the first trimester?
So while in wait-and-see mode, I thank God for another opportunity to be blessed with a little one and pray for his protection on little Em (as in 'bryo). So far, I've been spared the horror of morning sickness, but most food is not that appealing, unless it's cheesy and greasy. Something's serious off when I have chocolate in my desk drawer that isn't touched in a week. I'm also very fatigued, but this time I don't have the luxury of taking a nap when I come home from work. Also, I'm running a good minute a mile slower now. Not to mention that my belly doth expand. I've been wearing my elastic waist clothes for weeks. They say with #2, everything happens bigger and faster and I had to tell folks at work because it's getting kinda obvious that I'm packing it on, all of a sudden.
One thing that is different this time is that my eating habits aren't going to pot. Even though I'd love to nosh on comfort food like I did the first time, you all got to see the effects of all that. So far, I'm able to keep my eating in check and limit the amount of unhealthy crap that I have begun to crave again. I don't need to try and lose another 50 lbs after all is said and done. Been there, done that and don't plan to do it again. So I eat cheerios, peanut butter, whole wheat bread & crackers and drink seltzer, milk and kefir most days.
I'm not a fan of pregnancy -- all these strange things that happen to my body that I can't control. I don't understand how any woman "enjoys" being pregnant. I just want my old body back. But I sure enjoy having me a babe in arms, so it's worth it. At least one more time...
I did have my first appt with the midwife today and she said my uterus is measuring 8 weeks, so I guess that's good. In a couple more weeks we get to listen for the heartbeat. So much waiting when you're pregnant...a good opportunity to actively trust the Father for all of the unknowns.
Stay tuned...more to come,
Shelby
Monday, August 17, 2009
the body odd, take two
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7 comments:
Yey! Riley will be a great big brother! Congrads!!
As I'm pretty sure we've already discussed, I shared your concern in early pregnancy. I was also given the lip service of "Everything will be fine!" Especially by my mother, of course! That sort of thing really annoys me because of course NO ONE knows that it will all be fine, and when people used my young age as the reason for their confidence, I would remind them that miscarriage doesn't discriminate. It's hard to be excited early on, I know. My attitude was that, while I was reserved and worried (though I know the worry part is sinful and prayed about it every day), I was determined to enjoy my pregnancy for however long it lasted, puking and weight gain and all!
I do hope and pray all is well. My birthday is 3/25, so see what you can do about getting that kid here four days early. Congratulations!!!
I too shared your fear/concern in early pregnancy with both girls. I never told anyone except our parents, until I was officially in the second trimester. I just couldn't bear the thought of having to explain a miscarriage. I think it's normal to be apprehensive, but it's all in the hands of the Lord and hopefully trusting brings you comfort. It's so much easier said than done, I know. I'll be praying for you.
Kathy
sooo excited to hear that you are expecting again, even if you are somewhat reserved! you and johnathon are such great parents, and what a blessing it will be to have another baby and a sibling for riley! we will pray that things go well with the pregnancy and hope to hear some good news about the babies heart beat soon! blessings!
ah! this is what i get for not checking your blog for a week! congratulations! praying things go well and that in a few weeks you'll feel very relieved!
congrats!! praying that this pregnancy goes smoothly and all those fears cn be alleviated. :o)
oh for a healthy snack i ate lots of fruit. that helped with the sweet craving as well as fiber and liquid. but i imagine you are alreay on top of that.
Hey Shelby...congrats. I didn't love being pregnant either. BUT, it's definitely worth it for what comes out. I love reading your blog and seeing your little man. Boy, does he look like his daddy! Hugs to you!
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