We're coming clean on the rest of what's going on...
Because of a technical problem that's out of J's control, it's been 6 weeks since his insurance claims have been paid.This means that until they are, J won't be getting a paycheck. This would be a stressful situation for any family; for me it feels near catastrophic due to my tight management of our finances. Our budget is 99% fat-free since Riley arrived – extra lean. When half of our income suddenly dries up, I can see weeks or months down the road and picture the worst-case scenario and go into a very dark place.
We are very diligent to live within our means because we hate debt and the sense of enslavement that comes with it. While we have credit resources to draw on, they are a last resort and only for emergencies, which I suppose this would qualify as. I hate to pay interest on additional debt, so I've had a hard time calling it "God's Provision". It has helped to remember that it's all God's money. He can solve this dilemma and so far has chosen not to. As a steward of His money I'll do what's needed to fulfill our obligations and keep the borrowing to a minimum and at the lowest interest rate possible.
J has an easier time trusting God to take care of us when we're in financial crisis. I, on the other hand, go through weekly meltdowns and obsess about how to fix the problem as we increase the frequency of our prayers ten-fold. Though I'm sure God has things to teach J in all this, it feels like it's all for my benefit. I don't wait for life to happen and then react to it. I'm a Live-In-The-Future-Doer. I plan avoidance strategies for possible disasters and then act on a problem until it disappears. This is one of those times where my "doing" only mitigates the damage, but can't fix it.
Because of the fluctuations in J's income, we've been in places of temporary crisis before and God always brought us through. I suppose those times were preparing us for a BIG one – the one that's not resolved within a few weeks.
Despite what I believe about God's grace, that--
The punishment for my sin was poured out on Jesus as He hung on the cross, so I will never be punished for my sins,
By faith in Jesus, His perfect life is credited to my account, as though I had never sinned
Therefore I am no longer an orphan but an adopted daughter of the living God who perfectly loves me and wants only the very best for me
-it's still so unnatural to believe that when one of my worst fears is realized that my Father loves me and is doing something amazing in me to make me like Jesus.
As I've been moving through the anger and into acceptance I'm finding that I want to be like the saints that had learned to rest in their Father's will:
Habakkuk 3:17-18
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
How did Habakkuk rejoice with disaster on his doorstep? This is the time where music speaks to me very loudly. The writers who take Bible truths and put it to music are a lifeline to me. I've been listening a lot to my Indelible Grace CDs and finding encouragement:
We expect a bright tomorrow; All will be well
Faith can sing through days of sorrow, All is well
On our Father's love relying
Jesus every need supplying
Yes in living or in dying
All must be well
In the hours of pain and sorrow,
When the world brings no relief
When the eye is dim and heavy,
And the heart oppressed with grief
While blessings flee, Savior Lord we trust in Thee!
Though vine nor fig tree neither
Their wonted fruit should bear,
Though all the fields should wither,
Nor flocks or herds be there
Yet, God the same abiding,
His praise shall tune my voice;
For, while in Him confiding,
I cannot but rejoice!
Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right:
Whate'er my God ordains is right,
Here shall my stand be taken
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken
My God is true,
Each morn anew
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all
It Is Well with My Soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
"It is well, it is well with my soul"
God knows my most vulnerable spot and He's shaking things up big time. I suspect I'll be looking at some things differently when this is all over.
So dear readers, we'd appreciate your prayers on our behalf for:
Peace and ability to rest in God's care
Wisdom for decisions that we need to make
Strength to cope with the loss of J's dad and other job-related stress
Resolution to the billing problem
In the meantime, we're packing for our trip to Alaska tomorrow and looking to the Lord for all that we need. We'll keep you posted...
3 comments:
If this is a "techincal problem", then how is it that J is going without a paycheck? Wouldn't it become the responsibility of the person/organization who caused the technical problem to ensure that he gets paid? Is there any hope you can hold the person who caused the problem responsible and get them to provide for J's income, at least in part?
It's a good thing, Shelby, that you are as good with finances as you are. God's provided you with skill in that area, perhaps precisely for this moment in your's and J's life. Many other families would have collapsed if 1/2 the income suddenly dries up. (For example, I'm not sure we'd survive.)
I just talked with Cathy about this, and pretty much the same thing happened with the first place she worked after we moved to Indy. She just called the insurance firm directly, told them what was going on, and they put a note on her file and she started getting her paychecks again.
If the problem preventing J's paychecks from arriving was somebody else's fault, then that somebody else is probably legally responsible for providing his income until they fixed what they screwed up.
The problem is due to a new National Identifier that all the providers had to being using on May 23rd. It works like a tax ID that all the insurers will recognize J by.
The clearinghouse that J uses (Emdeon) did not have their bugs all worked out before the deadline hit and this number is not being communicated to the Medicare and Blue Cross systems, causing his claims to be rejected. It a problem affecting a lot of providers. Complicating the problem, each time Emdeon thinks they've solved the problem and J resubmits his claims, it takes about 5 days to get the rejection notice.
To send paper claims takes 6-8 weeks to get paid, and a whole lot of time that J doesn't have, since he's a one-man show. It's been hard enough for him to find the time to make calls and deal with this as it is.
Last week, we decided he had to look for a new clearinghouse. So far, the cheapest one is twice as much as Emdeon. So while Emdeon continues to work on the problem, J's looking at other electronic billing programs. If we switch, it will take 4-6 weeks for the first payments to arrive, so we're looking at mid-August before revenue starts rolling in. He's looking at a new clearinghouse on Tuesday.
When it comes to insurers, they have a lot of leeway in timing and amount of payments it seems. Emdeon isn't liable for our claims since they're just the messenger and we can leave them at any time. It feels pretty helpless, but we know God is bigger than this problem and I think it was tailor-made for my control issues. yee haw.
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