home…at last

We got the good news this afternoon that Riley could be discharged if he passed one more bottle-feeding test to ensure that his O2 levels don’t drop due to uncoordinated sucking, swallowing and breathing. With mama’s help ensuring that he took a breathing break here and there, he passed with flying colors. So, we were out the door at 3:30 this afternoon. He wore his special homecoming outfit from “Auntie” Deborah (who works with me at InterGen) and I captured a picture of my baby boy in his car seat once we got him home:

He was so alert to his new surroundings that he had a hard time falling asleep. He was up from 2:30pm to 7pm with just a few very short spells of nodding off. He’s now sleeping soundly in his bouncer seat – didn’t like being in his bassinet for some reason. It’s so wonderful to have him home – already my schedule is dictated by him and that’s just fine with me. No more trips to the hospital – hallelujah. Having my mom here to help has been really good. Until I get coordinated with everything, she’s my extra pair of hands when I need them.

I look at my boy and still can’t believe he’s really mine – bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. I’m so grateful for the blessing of being Riley’s mom and am cherishing these days with him even more after what we’ve been through the past two weeks. J hit the nail on the head when he said there’s a whole new realm of terrors that we feel now that we have a child. Those fears are going to drive us to the Lord who is stronger than us and loves our son as much as we do. I’m so glad there’s a throne in Heaven that is occupied and that we can trust Him with Riley’s life and well-being. This same God gives J and me the grace to endure when life doesn’t go the way we planned and we feel so helpless.

I’m reminded of Psalm 147-10-11 which says:

His delight is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his pleasure in the legs of a man,
but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him,
in those who hope in his steadfast love.

In answering why God would delight in those who fear him and hope in His love, John Piper writes:

Surely it is because our fear reflects the greatness of His power and our hope reflects the bounty of His grace. God delights in those responses which mirror His magnificence…When I cry out, “God is my only hope...!” I am turning from myself and calling all attention to the boundless resources of God.

We have felt helpless these past 12 days and have turned to our Lord for the healing of our son and the strength to make it through each day. We don’t often see His power until we run out of our own resources and run to Him for help. Help has come from many places and God has been faithful to His promises to care for our family. We praise Him for this and give Him the glory for His mercy shown to us.

Thanks again to all who have prayed for us, sent us well wishes, brought us food and snacks to eat and encouraged us with your visits, phone calls and emails. We are humbled by your kindness and grateful to be loved so well by so many.

Another blessing I’ve found is that this trial has bonded J and me even closer together and I am grateful for having such a supportive husband to walk through hard times with. I see more and more just how right J is for me – more evidence that God’s plan is always better than anything (or anyone) I could dream up for myself.

So, as J and I watch our sweet baby boy sleep, our hearts are filled with joy and thankfulness at having him home – right where he belongs.

Shelby