adventures in sleeping

Riley has always been a good sleeper. I'd like to think that it's a combination of nature and nurture as we've taken specific steps to help him organize his sleep. Being a kid with active limbs, we've continued to swaddle him to help him calm down for bedtime & naptime. The challenge was keeping him swaddled. We handled once a night reswaddlings ok. After they increased in number -- several nights in a row -- I decided to go sans-swaddle and see how Riley did. I theorized that the swaddle had become a sleep prop – once it was undone, Riley woke up and called out to us.

Turns out, he sleeps just fine without being wrapped. Not a peep was heard between 8p-6a for the first 4 nights. The spell was broken last night, in which he woke up at 4:30 and would not settle down. So after trying 3 times to help him back to sleep, I took him out the couch with me where we both “rested” for the next hour. It’s what I do in desperate times, which I can count on one hand. Here’s hoping it’s just a fluke.

Now that he can move, we find him in various positions and locations in his crib.

Won't be long before the kid is rolling over...

He can only scoot so far--







We love our Riley boy!

Shelby

riley’s newest pal

Going back to work has caused a delay in this blog, but I wanted to post pics of Zacchaeus Zivan who was born on August 19. He is the younger brother of Zipporah (Zippy) Zivan who you have seen on our blog previously (4/26 & 6/28). We visited Jon and Oil in the hospital the day of his birth where Riley got a first glimpse of his new bud:

We shared a chocolate cigar with his proud parents:

Family shot (sans Zippy):









We took a few more shots last Saturday when we took a meal over to them. I like this pic of the kids -- Zippy looks like she’s making a comical remark to Riley, who is looking bug-eyed:








The boys:








We foresee a day in the future when Riley and Zac along with Nathanael, Asher & Joseph will be playing tag in the sanctuary, snagging treats in the fellowship hall and teasing their many female peers for entertainment.

Yep, it'll be here before we know it. I'd better go get another cuddle from my boy while he still lets me indulge myself..

Shelby

did I really say that?

Three months into being a dad and there are a lot of changes. Probably the most surprising (shocking?) to anyone who’s known me for a while (and also to myself) is this:

I look forward to getting up in the morning, and I’m happy when I do.

Can it be so? There used to be a rule on overnight outings when I was a youth group leader that, “You don’t talk to Jonathan until he talks to you.” Otherwise I was apt to be a bit mean during the first 90 minutes or so after waking. Over the years I’ve had people repeatedly ask this confirmed night-owl what he was going to do when he had kids. My answer was always the same: “Suffer.” It’s not true though.

First of all, about a year and a half ago I had a sleep study done and was diagnosed with mild obstructive sleep apnea and delayed sleep-phase syndrome. That’s doctor speak for, “You snore loud enough to wake the dead, so you never really get deep sleep since you’re always partially waking yourself up. So you wake up feeling like crap.” I was then put on a CPAP machine when I sleep which keeps me from snoring, allows me to sleep normally, makes my wife very happy since she can now sleep normally, and miracle of miracles, allows me to wake up feeling rested and good!

The next thing that changed is my first child. Riley has definitely not caused me to suffer. My love for him (remember the 20 ton sledgehammer of love?) is such that I look forward with anticipation to his arrival when Shelby brings him into the bedroom each morning. Morning is daddy’s time with his boy. Since I get home at around 8pm every workday I don’t get to see much of Riley at night. But I get concentrated time with him each morning, especially now that Shelby is back to work.

First, we have laying around time:

Then, when Riley is ready for his first nap of the day, I start my daily ‘get ready for work’ routine. About 45 min. or so later it’s time to iron. Riley is usually getting up from his nap at this point. This has now become play time for daddy and boy:

My personal favorite CD for playtime (Riley seems to like it too) is by They Might Be Giants – Here Come The ABC’s. My only exposure to this band was their hit song from 1990, “Birdhouse In Your Soul”, which I hated, but their kid’s music rocks. You’ve gotta love a band that can pull off, “C Is For Conifers”, a song about evergreen trees and anyone that can fit the word ‘gyroscopes’ into a rock & roll format. Riley and I dance and sing through most of the CD while I iron my clothes. I love the way he focuses on me while I sing to him or dance around while I hold his legs or hands. He also smiles and makes a lot of happy noises. It’s enough to slay me with joy.

So I feel like God has produced so many miracles in my life. The very fact that I have a wonderful wife and now a beautiful boy blows me away after all the years I longingly waited (and prayed on and on…) I used to pray that God would make me a ‘morning person’ too. Well what do you know?

Prayers are answered and the answer is “Yes!” Praise God!

Jonathan

riley is three months old!

Our sweet Riley-boy is three months today and here's some of what's going on with him and new things that he's doing:

* He weighs 12 lbs 9oz.

* He’s sleeping well as long as he stays swaddled. He goes down about 7:30 and sleeps straight to 6am. Sometimes we have to reswaddle him during the night, but he goes right back to sleep. He takes 3-4 naps a day. (We're big proponents of sleeping on demand!)

* I nurse him at 6am and 7pm, feeding him bottled breastmilk approx every 3.5 hrs in between for a total of 5 feedings. We eliminated his 11p dreamfeed in favor of giving him an extra ounce during each day’s bottle feeding for a total of 5 oz per feeding.

* He’s talking more now and flashing his beautiful smile daily and we can coax a little giggle out of him sometimes.

* I can distract him from a bad mood by imitating him vocally; he’ll then play the game of “copy-cat”. The first time I did this it was fun to see him realize what I was doing, grin and make noises for me to copy.

* He loves his crib mobile and playgym. He’ll coo and talk to the animals and use his hands to move the playgym bar to cause the animals to rattle.

* He enjoys dancing to our They Might Be Giants “Here Come the ABCs” cd and playing peek-a-boo.

* When on his back, he uses his heels to propel himself backward so I never find him in the same spot after putting him in his crib or in his playgym. He does this when I’m changing him too, which makes diapering a wee more challenging as I have to move him back into position.

* One thing he does throughout the day now is bring his hands up to his mouth and suck on his fist. Only one brief thumb-sucking event that I've caught so far .

* He’s not crazy about tummy time, but he does some obligatory mini-pushups that earn him lots of "atta-boys!".

* He’s discovering his hands and starting to make repeated, deliberate movements to use them. He’ll pat the center part of his bumbo seat repeatedly or stretch toward his foot to touch it. Also, he’ll grab his blanket, pull, let go and repeat while looking at his hand, which makes me think he’s doing it on purpose.

* He likes the bumbo seat since he can sit on the countertop and see more of what’s going on. He still can’t sit up straight so when he gets tired, he slouches forward and begins sucking on his fists before telling me he wants out. I find this to be a handy thing when I need two hands to get food ready.

* He loves his daddy. He lights up when he sees J and I can already see there’s a special bond between them.

In short, Riley is a sweet, lovable, good-natured baby that is a delight to his mom and dad. We're so glad God gave him to us and for filling us up with more love and joy than we ever thought possible.

We love our boy!

Shelby

adventures in day care

Maybe my tendency to live in the future affords me the opportunity to grieve over losses ahead of time so that when the day arrives, I have less crying to do. Such was the case today. I’ve cried off and on during the past month in anticipation of going back to work. Yesterday, I was a basket case. Cried during church, cried at home, cried at small group Bible study, cried during Riley’s bedtime feeding, cried putting him to bed, yada yada yada -- you get the picture.

This morning I got choked up a few times while feeding Riley and kissing him goodbye. Later on, at work, I had a little cry while I took a pumping break, but other than that, I did better than expected. I was distracted – I had to triple-check my work to ensure that I hadn’t made an error – but I wasn’t as depressed as I thought I would be. Maybe I’ve gotten some of the grieving done already and am better able to accept something that can’t be changed.

I missed my boy. A lot.

I’m grateful to be able to leave the office early this week to help ease the transition back to work. I picked Riley up around 1:30 and got a sheet from Diane, his caregiver, called “The Daily Infant News”. She records when he ate, slept and included a note that “Riley had a happy first day”. Well, I’m glad that one member of our family did. J was so out of sorts emotionally that he forgot to give Diane any instructions and had to go back. He was still choked up when I called him a shortly after.

We’re hopeful that the days will get better as we have more of them. Every mom I work with tells me it does get easier. I don’t know if the guilt will ever go away, but at least I can feel good about where Riley’s at. Diane’s got 20 years of experience and J and I both felt good about the environment our boy will be in.

But we’ll still miss him. A lot.

Shelby

back to work

This is an emotional weekend for me. Monday, I return to work and we begin the routine of bringing Riley to daycare. As I sort through my work clothes to find which ones fit, plan & prepare the next week’s meals and get Riley’s diaper bag ready for his caregiver, I feel those pangs of mommy guilt. I join the legions of women working outside of the home who deal with this every day.

I don’t like the term “working mom”, knowing that even stay-at-home moms are working too. I was amazed these past 3 months at how tired I was by late afternoon – and that’s with an easy baby who sleeps fairly well. Now, I’ll have to find the time to get the essentials done (laundry, meals, pay bills) in 55 less hours per week. We want to maximize our Riley time. The floors may have to wait.

I’m glad that I have a husband who is good at keeping house and willing to help with the load. I can thank his mom for giving him that training. We actually have a pretty good division of labor around the house. I clean the kitchen, he cleans the bathrooms – we both do laundry as needed. I pay the bills; he takes out the garbage and recycling. We make meals together on the weekend so there’s more family time during the week. His willingness to be a team player is one of the things I appreciate the most about J.

Tho’ there should be plenty to do at the office to keep my mind occupied, I’m planning to keep the hankie nearby as I expect to be missing my boy a lot.

Speaking of whom, Riley seems to have gotten over whatever he was dealing with the past few days. He was flirting with the cashiers at Trader Joes yesterday, giving them his big smile and is more playful with us again. I suspect that he’s getting to an age where he is expressing more of his dislikes, so what I may term as moodiness is just him communicating his wishes more often.

We enjoyed a near-perfect day today (70’s and sunny) by going to Davis Square and hitting both Diesel Café and the Minuteman Trail. Riley enjoys getting outside and seeing new things. J snapped this shot of me and my boy just before we left:

Mama loves her Riley-boy!

Shelby

i am Athena. hear me roar (or grunt)

Back in my second trimester, I pretty much ate whatever I felt like and paid the price for it later on. I’m now on a year-long journey to lose the excess pounds without reducing my milk supply. Gotta eat and drink just enough to keep me and my boy well-nourished. Thankfully, J and I enjoy making quick & healthy meals, so it’s been easy to get back into the habit of eating right.

Part of my fitness regimen is to sign up for races that are longer than my training runs to give me a goal to shoot for. The first race will be Sept 8 -- the 5-mile Ollie Road Race in Southie. My current weight puts me in the “Filly” category – the men are called “Clydesdales”. Some women have objected to being referred to as horses (can ya blame 'em?), so they are also known as Athena runners. Since she’s the warrior goddess, there is that sense of power and kick ass-ness that some might find empowering.

For me, they both mean that I need to lose weight in order to cover the ground I used to and enjoy the run for longer periods. I can’t say that I enjoy them as much as before – they’re a lot more work now. It will be a challenging race as I’m currently running 3 miles at a 4 min/mile pace slower than pre-pregnancy. I must say that I have a greater admiration for those larger runners who I see plugging away at the miles. There’s a big difference between fast walking and slow jogging and it’s most noticeable when you’re carrying larger loads.

My goal is to run at least 4 miles each Saturday between now and race day. I know from past experience that I can run longer on race day due to adrenaline and the motivation of having other runners to run with.

After that, I’ll be looking for a 10k (6.2 mi)...

Shelby

sleepy boy

Continuing on yesterday's theme, our boy took a record 4.5 hr nap this afternoon after two short naps in the morning. Since he missed his late afternoon feeding, I finally got him up to eat a good sized meal before putting him back to bed. This general malaise has us thinking that he may have caught something on our vacation last week. Poor kid -- life's pretty much about sleeping and eating right now, not much energy for playing.

Shelby

mood swings

Our friend Dagmar visited us today and though Riley wasn’t feeling up to snuff, he sure liked being held by her:

Riley’s been a bit moody the past couple of days and J & I wondered if he might be fighting a cold or something. He took four naps today (usually takes three) after getting a full 10-hr night’s sleep and still went to bed early tonight.

He’s usually very agreeable in the morning, but not today. I thought it was because I accidentally caught his skin when I was clipping one of his finger nails (bring on the mommy guilt!). He didn’t cry when it happened, but about 10 min later he slowly worked himself up into a wail. After about a half-hour of that, J binked him and began rocking him. Riley finally calmed down after 15 min or so. In fact, near the end, Riley spit his binky out and gave J a big smile like “no worries dad, just having a mood”.

I saw more of that flipping back and forth from mad to happy throughout the day. One of his happy spells was when I started playing peek-a-boo with J’s shirt, which had Riley chuckling. It’s a relief when I stumble on something that amuses him.

I’m tired after affecting the happy/goofy/sing-songy persona most of the day. Ready for bed and hopefully a better day tomorrow.

Shelby

bye bye meds...hello henry!

This is no ordinary bottle. It holds the final dose of anti-seizure medication that we gave to Riley last night. We hope that's the last of the pink milk. We are praising God for all He’s done for our family thus far and how far we have come since those first two difficult weeks.

We visited Daddy at his office and got to see Gramma Betsy too. Riley showed her how much he smiles and talks now:

She brought him a new stuffed animal which we named Henry Hippo. He likes to swing from Riley’s car seat handle:

Thanks Betsy!!

Shelby

skooching, pushups and bumbos

Riley has learned to use his heels to move himself around and now I have to rescue him from skooching off his playmat. (Is that the right spelling for skooch? Can’t find it in the dictionary but saw that another blogger had used it, so I will too) He actually has two playmats, one which has more cushioning and he doesn’t seem to like it as well since it inhibits his ability to travel in this manner.

Anyway, another first is that he is now able to use this newfound mobility to turn himself more than 180 ° as he demonstrates in this picture:

Yes, his head was originally on the right side of this view (near his binky) and we caught him at the end of a long afternoon nap yesterday having turned himself about 210 ° to the right. Those bumpers will come in handy now that he'll be banging his head and feet on the crib rails.

He’s also getting better at his mini-pushups. Not sure if it’s apparent in this picture, but he’s got his upper chest off the mat here:

Lastly, Miss Frankie (who is 6 mos) decided that she didn’t have any more use for the Bumbo seat that we lent her, so Riley got to take his first spin in his seat. Here’s the look on his face when we first put him in:

Then, the discovery of The Toes:

He doesn’t have the hand-eye coordination to grab them yet, but he was leaning over and moving his hand ever so closer. I’ve put him in the seat a couple more times since then and it doesn’t take long before he’s staring a his toes again. Must be a Bumbo thing…

Shelby

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(My first non-Riley blog…)

Discovered another change to my body due to pregnancy – my arches have fallen. After 5 weeks of running with what were perfectly fine shoes last Feb, I had to buy a new pair for my post-pregnancy feet. I now need shoes for excessive pronators like myself whose feet roll inward due to low arches. I was getting some mild shin splints due to the pronation and that’s bad news for my running habit.

So, I found a terrific running store called Runners Edge in Malden and the guy recommended the Brooks Addiction 7. Not only will it help with the over-pronation, but will provide good shock absorption (critical now that I have excess pounds to lose).

I’ve taken them out for three runs and am thrilled with how my feet feel. In fact, I was able to up my mileage from 2.3 miles to 3 with no problems. I'm a happy runner again...

Shelby

my boys

We don’t do the “family bed”, but we do let Riley hang out with us in the morning after his first feed. Usually, Riley falls asleep within 30 min. On our vaca last week, daddy joined him in an extended snooze. It’s one of my favorite shots of the Berg boys:










I'm not sure why I love this shot -- maybe it has something to do with dreams that have been fulfilled. I've got a good man and a sweet boy and I feel satisfied.

All this and heaven too... so much to be thankful for.

Shelby

meltdown

It was bound to happen. Five days of traveling by plane and car will result in fussiness, right? Riley was sweet and happy (or at least tolerant) until we arrived home this afternoon. He napped as I started laundry and went grocery shopping, but by the time we returned home, things quickly deteriorated. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the bath. The usual squawks crescendoed to an all-out wail until I fed him, and started up again when I swaddled him for bed. Poor kid – J and I are pretty wiped as well, and we had to give him a little extra assistance in getting to sleep tonight, since he was overtired and wound up.

He’s melted down like this a few times before, but this is the first time I didn’t feel any anxiety over it. Since I knew that a crying baby doesn’t equal bad parenting or that he doesn’t like me, I was surprised at how unsettling it was when Riley cried hard. I assumed that I could be as rational as I am when other people’s kids cry. One of the many surprises I’ve had now that I’m a mother.

It still sounds strange to read those last three words out loud. That part of my identity still hasn’t fully sunk in yet.

Looking forward to a long night’s sleep,

Shelby

cars, buses, trains, boats, now planes!

This weekend we took a trip to Auburn, AL for our friend Lisa’s wedding. This is the first time we’re traveling by plane with Riley. Thinking of air travel and babies brings to mind nightmares of crying infants in the seat behind you. We took some sage advice and had a bottle for takeoff and landing (to help with air pressure changes) and he made it through without a squawk. Just a fun time spent with daddy.













For two days Riley fought sleep so that he could watch all the interesting new things that were going on around him. He hardly napped at all. That ended yesterday. Our boy spent the majority of the day napping and went right to sleep at bedtime. The travel finally caught up with him. He spent a good part of today sleeping as well. We have a travel bed for Riley that Shelby found at Target. A very cool and necessary thing for travelers like us. Here’s our boy resting well:










It was great to see everyone this weekend and best of all to celebrate Tom & Lisa’s wedding. The last of "The Four" has been married off (and well, we might add -- way to go Lisa!).

Marlynn, Shelby, Lisa and Kathy









Tom and Lisa:












It’s also been fun to have our Nashville friends meet Riley. He’s gotten passed around quite a bit this weekend. Fortunately he loves to be held by everybody. He’s such a happy boy that he’s got smiles for almost everyone. Here are some pictures of Riley with some of our Nashville friends:

Ken & Marlynn


Kathy









Debbie & Sabrina









We’re heading back to Boston in the morning. One more airplane trip with our boy. I hope it goes as well as the first. I’m a lot less apprehensive this time around. I’ll close for today with our most recent Berg family shot. The fist in mouth is his favorite "new thing" to do:













Jonathan

smiles…take two

Daddy had better luck capturing Riley's smile this weekend. This is now a daily occurance. Melts our hearts.

We love our boy!

Shelby