day 4 -- the hospital stay is coming to a close...

Today was a far different day than yesterday. We had a car seat, a little more sleep, and our girl was crying pretty much only when hungry (and sleeping frequently.) It was a good way to start.

The biggest challenge right now is in getting our girl fed without torturing her Mama. Fortunately the lactation consultant and all of the nurses have said that things look very good, so it's just a matter of practice and Shelby's body parts toughening up with the hard use. Hopefully after a week or so the current painful feeds will live on only in our memories.

Shelby's pain level has been a little higher at times, but this is mostly due to the change in medications from IV to oral. She's an amazingly fast healer so I suspect this will change quickly. She's been doing her laps around the corridor and really looks amazingly good.

Riley and Grammy came for a visit again today. We got some great pictures of Riley with Kendall on his lap. He is such a sweet boy and really seems to care for his sister. I think he understands that Kendall will be coming to live with us, and I hope he understands that we'll all be coming home to stay tomorrow. Some pictures:

Riley and Grammy drawing a house















Big Brother and his new Sister















Riley gives Kendall a kiss















The last few days have been tough ones for our boy. He's had times when he's been separated from Mama for a few days but he's never had this kind of separation from both of us. Fortunately Shelby's Mom has been there to take care of him and it seems that a bond has truly developed between the two of them. He's been for the most part his usual, happy go lucky self. Shelby and I both miss him dearly and are looking forward to being back home as a full family unit.

The other happening during our blur of infant feedings today was a visit from our pastor, Rick Downs as well as Chad and Kathryn Baldanza. The three were visiting another couple who have a son in the hospital (who is doing well.) Rick was actually calling me to see if we were home. It was a nice surprise for all that we were still here. Having visitors is a wonderful thing during times like this. Yesterday we were treated to a visit with our friends Alecia and Aimee. It's great to be able to share the excitement of having a new baby with our friends and it makes the day more fun. For me it makes it seem less like the walls are closing in on me when I have fresh faces around.

I have to say that the stay here at Beverly Hospital has been very pleasant. The staff here has been tremendous. In particular the nurses in the "Beautiful Beginnings" maternity ward have been a joy and have delivered service above and beyond the call of duty. From extra help with nursing problems to bringing around a "snack cart" in the evening these ladies have been nothing short of amazing. We've now had two very different experiences here (fortunately this one was different) but both were very positive. Thank you all very, very much.

The last surprise that we got here was something new since our last visit. On a couple's last night here they are given a "Celebration Dinner". This is a meal worthy of any good restaurant delivered to the mom and dad on their last night at the hospital. We had antipasto, Shelby had Beef Wellington with pesto mashed potatoes and perfectly cooked asparagus, and I had baked scallops with broccoli and seasoned rice with veggies. Shelby had Merlot, and I had a tasty Fisherman's Ale. Spring water and rolls were included. The meal finished with a delicious Molten Chocolate Cake. Yum! It was a great way to cap off a great experience.


Celebration Dinner













Great Dessert!















So tomorrow it's off to establish the new normal. Although this is something that has filled us full of trepidation at times, we're looking forward to seeing what it will be like. We're definitely ready to be back sleeping in our own bed once again.

Off to a new adventure. Stay tuned...


Jonathan & Shelby

day 3 -- postpartum ups & downs

(stress + meltdown = hypertension) + prayer = (provision + gratitude + peace)

Shelby's pregnancy-induced hypertension returned with a roar overnight last night. This morning it was even higher. It didn't take long for us to realize that the stress of healing from major surgery, postpartum hormonal changes, missing her firstborn, breastfeeding challenges and adjusting to a baby who cries a lot more than Riley was finally taking its toll. After the visiting pediatrician told her that she should begin nursing Kendall every 2 hours rather than 3, that pretty much did it for her. Those of you who know of the pain of nursing in the early days can feel her dread at the thought of doing it 12x per day instead of 8. All this produced a meltdown around mid-morning...not long before our first visitors were due to arrive.

The highest blood pressure reading occurred just after she found out that our infant car seat could not be found. Neither of us can figure out what happened to it as it wasn't something that we loaned out and we have all the other parts that go with the car seat, such as the base, headrest & stroller. Her BP was 150/110, a far cry from the 120/80 or less that she normally has.

Finding out that Riley shed a few tears over the thought that he might not get to see his mama didn't help (his trip was delayed today, not canceled). She makes a great effort to pay attention to him when he comes and it broke her heart that he was missing her enough to shed some quiet tears over it. Seeing how much my boy loves his mama, made me love him even more.

So prayers were needed to a) find a car seat that could replace our missing one and b) peace over the other things for which we have little to no control over.

She did have the sense to ignore the (male) doctor who would be insensitive and short-sighted enough to add yet another burden on to a new mother. Even the nurses were rolling their eyes at his suggestion that she nurse more frequently. Newborns have a normal drop in body weight prior to a mother's milk coming in on day 3-5, so Kendall's was totally normal. Even if it had been a dramatic loss (it wasn't), we would have been fine with supplementing with formula for a couple of days to bring Kendall's weight up.

By the early evening, our prayers for a car seat were answered when two of our friends offered to let us use theirs. One is being delivered tonight (thank you Lisa!).

Additionally, Shelby enjoyed a long visit with Riley this afternoon and Kendall was a more content baby. I was able to employ some of the "Happiest Baby on the Block" techniques that were never needed with Riley, but seem to help with Kendall.

Shelby also got some encouraging feedback from the lactation consultant so this is helping her though the first week of breastfeeding in which it can be quite painful. Kendall seems to be taking to it well, so we expect that things will get better in the coming days.

By the end of the day, Shelby's blood pressure had fallen to 118/72, a sure sign that her stress level had also fallen as these prayers were answered.

Even though the experience of having a child is far easier this time than last (we actually spend our days doing normal stuff rather than in intensive care) we're still finding ourselves stretched thin. There are plenty of good parts to the day, but even so it seems that the stress level can push into the 'red zone' very easily. During the 'downs' we are very glad to know a God who tells us that He will never give us more than we can handle. For that, and for His workings in everything we do we are very, very grateful.

Jonathan & Shelby

day 2 updates

Things are going well for the Berg family as we get acquainted with our newest addition. Kendall is already proving to be a girl who knows how to speak her mind. (Now, to learn how to interpret her cues...) All of her checkups and evaluations look great so we're thankful to have so far avoided the drama that accompanied Riley's birth. She's learning the fine art of breastfeeding and Mama hopes to avoid using some of the props that were needed with Riley in order to sustain it longer than the 5 months before her milk supply ran out.

Shelby continues to heal more rapidly than the last "section" she underwent. She was able to walk around the corridor last night and today, the nurse took her off the IV pole and removed her catheter. She was anxious to have the freedom to walk around and get her circulation moving and has done four laps total around the unit in addition to her many trips to the bathroom. She had the nurses amazed at how well she was doing just one day after her surgery. Her nurse said she was a "model section", which made her day. She did feel a little more pain at her incision in the late-afternoon -- probably due to that extra lap that she did around lunchtime.

Tonight, she will get the last of her pain-meds via IV and it will be removed. She's looking forward to a shower with no foreign objects stuck in her body. Her blood pressure has fallen to normal levels so there's no more concern of pre-enclampsia. Now, she's just trying to flush out the excess fluid which will relieve the carpel tunnel that has been plaguing her for over three months.

Shelby's Mom and Riley have been coming to visit for a few hours in which Grammy gets her Kendall time and Riley gets his mama/daddy time. We sure do miss him and look forward to being together in the house starting next week. It's sweet to see Riley give Kendall good-bye kisses, last night he did it totally unsolicited. When Grammy asked him today who they were going to see, he answered "dall", mama, dada!! So Kendall's already first in the list. That's our sweet boy.

We'll leave you with a couple of pictures:

Kendall, day two















Daddy time
















Jonathan & Shelby

kendall acadia berg

Kendall came into our lives today at 10:02 am. She entered the world loudly, making sure everyone knew she was here. She's a beautiful, healthy girl with a gorgeous head of light brown hair. Vital stats: weight - 7 lbs 14 oz, length - 20 inches. Mama did very well and is recovering quickly. Shelby actually feels far better than she did after Riley's birth, so we are hoping for a rapid recovery.

We had some family time this afternoon where Shelby's Mom and Riley came to visit us at the hospital for a while. Riley was so cute with his sister, giving her a kiss early on and also and unsolicited kiss goodbye. Very cute. We think he's going to be a great older brother.

We'll have much more in the future, for now though we'll just leave you with some pictures and a quick video.

She came out screaming!















She calmed down quickly though















Weigh in















Exam time















Pretty girl















Quality time in the recovery room















Riley took to his sister right away, giving her a big kiss















Grammy got to spend some time with her newest granddaughter















Riley and Mama hanging out, they both missed each other















Riley played in his "fort"















View from the fort















Watching Blue's Clues on daddy's iPod















Family time















Berg family shot















Last but not least, a little video from exam time

We love our new girl!


Jonathan, Shelby & Riley

thots on the last day of pregnancy

Well, the dim hope that I might go into labor and avoid a C-section is fading fast. It’s looking like sometime after 9am tomorrow, we will be seeing our sweet Kendall in the flesh. Though I’m not excited about having major abdominal surgery, I will feel better knowing that Kendall’s not going to experience the same labor trauma that Riley did.

I’ve been feeling something like homesickness as I realize that life is about to change dramatically again. While I know children change your life and I wasn’t surprised by this with Riley, I think I’m less emotionally prepared for the changes that come with having another child to love and care for.

I don't have the same attachment to Kendall-in-the-womb as I had with Riley. Maybe it’s due to being more distracted this time around. Maybe it’s simply the fact that I've had almost three years already to know my son. All I know is that I feel a more ambivalent about the changes coming tomorrow.

I think this is a normal thing that parents experience. When you think you just don’t have room in your heart for another child, your heart just seems to expand and make room for them anyway. I suspect this will happen for me when I hold my baby girl for the first time – that 20 ton sledgehammer of love that J describes will hit me with Kendall too. How can it not, she being flesh of my flesh?

One of the neat things that we've been seeing is Riley's spontaneous affection. He gives me kisses and hugs without my asking and enjoys snuggling with me on the couch as we play or watch TV. Even with our one-sided conversations, I can tell that he’s understanding me and attempting to communicate to the best of his ability. I cherish the afternoons and weekends that we have playing, teaching and learning together and watching him grow and develop. I feel very blessed and lucky to be his mom.

And it turns out that he does have some of my traits after all. His focus, his sense of order and symmetry all come from his mama with the penchant for detail & organization. After mastering all of his puzzles, he has begun playing more with his Lego Duplo set. He designs letters, builds houses and makes some cool patterns of various colors and sizes that are perfectly symmetrical. He makes a treehouse in which he enacts the scene from Veggie Tales’ Madame Blueberry in which her house get tossed out of the tree into a parking lot after it’s emptied of all the stuff she thought would make her happy. This sends him into convulsive laughter, which is infectious and absolutely adorable. Man, I love this kid.













All this to say, I find myself mourning the loss of our Riley-Mama time. I know that I’ll still have those sweet moments, just more infrequent and shorter in duration. It almost feels a bit like seeing him begin a new stage of life and my having to adapt to it. It feels like the end of an era of sorts.

So please keep J and I in your prayers as we prepare for Kendall’s birth day tomorrow morning. Pray for successful surgery tomorrow morning and for Kendall’s health. Pray for Riley as he adapts to his baby sister and for my mom who will be doing the care-giving during my time at Beverly Hospital (4 days). We welcome visitors for those that are in the area.

We’ll be posting pics and news from the hospital on Facebook and then here, so please stay tuned!

Love,

Shelby and Jonathan

t minus 6 days (at most)

The ironic thing about being put on bed rest is that my time spent in the birth center, lab & hospital goes up considerably due to all the tests I’m subjected to. Tuesday, I spent 3 hours there and yesterday I was gone for 5 hours, primarily due to another u/s. Thankfully, all tests are coming back with the results we had hoped for – Kendall’s doing well and I’ve only got hypertension at this point. They’ll test us both again on Monday.

My blood pressure continues to be high however, even on bed rest. In light of this, I had a long talk with my mid-wife on Thursday. I shared my concern that as my history with Riley is repeating itself with Kendall, I’m not comfortable bringing my pregnancy to 39 weeks, as that was when Riley suffered fetal distress that led to his stroke. As much as I was hoping to avoid a C-section and have the experience of a natural childbirth, I don’t want to put Kendall at risk of experiencing anything that Riley did, if it was at all related to my hypertension.

So I asked her if we could plan on a repeat C-section later on next week, if I don’t go into labor before then. She consulted with the obstetrician and he agreed to it. So, we have a birth day scheduled for Thursday, March 18th. I’ll be 38 weeks and 3 days at that point. Ideally, they like to see me go to 39 weeks to ensure optimal lung maturation, but they’re willing to do it 4 days early due to my history, current condition and that girl’s lungs tend to mature faster than boy’s do. Yep, that girls-mature-faster-than-boys thing starts in utero, apparently. Mom thinks it's due to their desire to communicate as early as possible!

It’s good to know that the end is near and that we’ll get to see Kendall-girl very soon. Can I get a woo hoo??!!

Shelby

déjà vu

I had my weekly midwife appointment this afternoon and she found that I’m retaining fluid and my blood pressure is up again. So she sent me over to the hospital for a fetal non-stress test and preeclampsia screening. The former is a non-invasive test that monitors fetal movements and heart rate in response to those movements. They also monitored my blood pressure.

After an additional two hours at the hospital, I was advised that I could go home (THAT was in question??) However, I have been ordered on bed rest until delivery. I don’t have preeclampsia, but they’ll continue to monitor me closely and keep checking for it.

The nine hours at work in an upright position isn’t helping with the rising BP and fluid levels. So, just like last time, I’m on bed rest at 37 weeks. I’m beginning to think that I’m just not made for pregnancy. My body seems to reject the foreign entity living in my womb and responds in a vascular sort of way.

I can’t help but be concerned that if I wait to go into labor naturally that I’m risking the possibility that Kendall will suffer the fetal distress that Riley did, leading to the stroke that Riley had or some other issue. Now that I’m having the same BP & fluid retention that I had before, I’m feeling less excited about waiting the pregnancy out and trying for a VBAC. I’ve been hoping to have a natural labor & delivery and avoid another C-section, but after today, I’m considering the option of an elective C-section if things continue as is.

I’m going back in for another check up on Thursday and I’ll discuss my options with the midwife at that point. The goal is a healthy baby, so if surgery seems to be the best option in my circumstance then I’m more open to it this time around.

We’ll keep you posted on developments…

Shelby

37 weeks

That's T-3 to due date (yee haw!)

Well, I’ve finally made it to the home stretch – Kendall is now full term. We're starting to get down to the business of getting ready for her arrival. I've washed a few newborn items and bought a pack of diapers. I've started hunting down all my nursing "stuff". Jonathan was cleaning floors this weekend. He'll be making some extra food for the freezer and installing the infant seat.

As you may imagine, I’m quite uncomfortable now and sleep isn’t a "given" anymore. I’m constantly out of breath, even when I’m just standing around talking. Carpel tunnel & restless leg syndrome continue to be my daily companions. Oy.

On the positive side, my edema isn’t as bad this time around – at this point with Riley I was 20 lbs heavier and wearing sandals that were two sizes larger, so I’m not as miserable as I was then. I could still zip up my knee boots last Thursday. That seems to be my litmus test as to how much swelling I have.

At last week’s appointment, my blood pressure was elevated to 140/87 so I’ll be making weekly donations of blood and urine to check for signs of preenclampsia. Fun times, I tell ya. The hypertention is mild and seems to be related to my body position. If I lie down on my side for a couple of minutes, it goes back down to normal. So as long as my bp stays steady and I don’t show any other symptoms, I should be allowed for to work for the next couple of weeks as planned.

My biggest concern right now is that Riley is taken care of when we head to the hospital. Since my previous labor was less than 6 hours, I am working on the assumption that this one may be quicker, as second labors often are. Our dear friend Betsy – Riley’s third Grandma -- is planning to come down from Newburyport, but there may be a few hours delay from the time she gets our call and her arrival at our house. Ahh…the practical benefits of having family nearby to help at a moment’s notice. Mom is arriving the week before my due date, so it would be great if Kendall held out until then. But dang, it would be nice to be done before then too… We have friends willing to help during the next couple of weeks and pray that their kids/jobs/distance challenges will not be a problem on delivery day.

People ask me if Riley’s excited about having a baby sister. Since he doesn’t speak well yet, it’s hard to know how much he understands. He knows there’s a baby in mama’s tummy and that her name is Kendall, but it may be too abstract a concept for him to grasp. To make it a little less so, I showed him some of the birth segments from “The Business of Being Born” which he enjoyed. Regardless, it will be reality for him soon and I’m sure he’ll be a great big brother.

In parting, here’s the latest pic of me and my burgeoning belly:
















Shelby

t minus 5 weeks

I followed up my 35 week appointment with another ultrasound today. Because of Riley's prenatal stroke, they wanted another look at Kendall now that she's almost full-term (37 weeks). Since Jonathan and I were tested for any genetic clotting factors (negative), I wasn't too concerned. I was more interested in getting confirmation of whether or not Kendall was still in breech position as she was two weeks ago. My midwife said it was difficult to tell from feeling around my belly.

I had tried the ice and music method this past weekend. I put an icepack on the top of my belly and music at the bottom of my belly to entice baby girl to "head" south. My midwife had a few other tricks that I could try, but due to my C-section, they won't attempt an external version (turn a baby manually). So in order to have the option of a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean), she had to turn and soon.

We were relieved to find out that Kendall is head down..Thank you, Jesus. So I guess what I thought was her head must have been her bum. I'm thankful to have one less thing to be concerned about.

We also found out that Kendall's estimated weight is 6 lbs. That means, I'm on the way of delivering an 8 lb baby if Kendall arrives sometime after 39 weeks. Oy. Maybe I should put this girl on a diet now.

Just kidding.

The ultrasound technician also said she has a head of hair on her (as Riley and I did as newborns), so we're pretty excited about seeing those beautiful locks next month. We're going to need a frequent user card at Snip-Its if her hair grows as fast as Riley's does.

We got a facial shot showing her cute little chubby cheeks to share with you:















Looking forward to seeing you soon Kendall girl!

Mama

a diagnosis...finally

Back on Jan 11, we shared our concerns about Riley's speech delay and our hope for a diagnosis in April when he was scheduled for an evaluation with a Speech & Language Pathologist at Children's Hospital. There was a 4 month wait list, despite having 13 SLPs on staff. So when CH called me Tuesday afternoon with a cancellation, we were able to see his SLP the next day. Her name was Katherine and she used toys and play to assess his expressive and receptive language skills. Riley was his normal, friendly, curious, sometimes very focused self. He warmed up to her quickly and though he got distracted often, he was able to be redirected back to the task at hand.

After the assessment, she brought us back in to her office for a summary of her report. We were greatly relieved to hear that she did not think that he had a motor planning disorder, such as verbal dyspraxia. Rather, she diagnosed a phonological delay which was impacting speech production. This is a part of the expressive language delay in which the typical explosion of speech that occurs at around 18 months and again at 30 months hasn't happened yet. With 80 single words and a few 2-word combinations, he doesn't have the vocabulary of a child his age.

Phonological development is the gradual process of acquiring adult speech patterns. All children make pronunciation errors (called phonological processes) when they are learning to talk like adults. These predictable phonological deviations are the way that children simplify the articulation of words. Some examples would be deleting the final consonant (saying "boo" instead of "book") deleting syllables (saying "nana" instead of "banana") or substituting one sound for another (saying "wuv" instead of "love"). All children use phonological processes and these are usually eliminated between the ages of 3 to 5.

It was important to us that Katherine used the term delay instead of disorder when describing Riley's problems with speech production. Children who are delayed use speech patterns typical of a child who is younger. In other words, they continue to develop, but at a slower pace. A disorder would mean the use of speech sounds which are not appropriate for any aged child -- an atypical developmental pattern. At 2.75 yrs, Riley's using speech patterns that are typical of a child under the age of 2. Also, his intelligibility is quite a bit lower as he's using more phonological processes when he does speak.

Another related issue that had been identified by EI is oral hypo-sensitivity. Riley's not an extreme case, but he has exhibited some of the signs of decreased oral sensation such as:

• drooling and putting non-food objects in his mouth beyond teething age
• stuffing his mouth with food
• pocketing food in his cheeks
• biting on fork/spoon/straw when eating

When he was still drooling last November, we bought him an electric toothbrush to help increase his oral awareness and the drooling stopped within a month or so. The other symptoms still remain so this issue will affect his ability to articulate his sounds correctly too. An OT patient of Jonathan's recommended a couple more tips for us as well. One was to use a toothbrush to "wake up" his mouth prior to eating and another was to use a variety of oral massagers, vibration, and textured materials/objects for stimulation. We plan to incorporate these things into his "home therapy" in the coming weeks.

While no one can predict how successful speech therapy will be in overcoming Riley's speech issues, Katherine said there's reason to believe his prognosis is good. We left CH feeling very encouraged.

I can't close this out without saying how incredibly grateful we are that God has placed us in a city that is world renowned for it's medical research and expertise. One of my friends commented last week that had we lived elsewhere his arm seizure and stroke may not have been diagnosed so quickly, if ever. Because of that experienced NICU nurse who "happened" to be helping me with Riley's first nursing, we have had our son under watchful care since then. His neurologist recommended EI at 18 months and referred us to the SLP at 30 months. How many kids don't get the help they need because they lack the close observation that Riley has been so fortunate to have? We are blessed and lucky, thanks to our sovereign and loving God who gives us all that we need.

Shelby

flu busta experiment

It seems like everyone is sick right now. I keep finding facebook and blog posts of parents who have illness running through their families. I guess it's that time of year. I recall Riley's two bouts of flu occurring around this time.

With all the swine flu hysteria that seemed to be generated by the media last fall, we decided to take a more natural approach. We had been reading reports in the news that researchers have found a correlation between low Vitamin D levels in the winter and susceptibility to the flu. The "sunshine vitamin" works as a hormone to regulate hundreds of genes, some of which are involved in the body's defense against viruses. Vitamin D seems to have a particular benefit in fighting respiratory illnesses, like influenza.

Since the natural sources are sunlight and fish oil, I bought Riley some flavored cod liver oil and a Vitamin D gummy vitamin to supplement the multivitamin that he already takes. Since the Omega 3's contained in the fish oil also help to fire up the neurotransmitters of the brain, we noticed an almost immediate increase in Riley's attempts at speech. So he got a double benefit from the fish oil in addition to its immunity-boosting powers.

So far, he's flu-free and with the exception of some mild sniffles here and there, he's been cold-free this season. I'm not discounting the fact that he got some of my disease-resistant genes, but I can't help but wonder if the supplementation is helping. We try and keep his sugar levels low -- mainly fruit -- as refined sugar is well known for suppressing immunity for hours after consumption.

So here's Riley's recipe for keeping flu at bay so far this season:














I found the fish oil (Nordic Naturals) and Yummi Bears at Whole Foods, but recently discovered I could save money by buying the Vitamin D at Target. You may be wondering if he resisted the 1/2 tsp of fish oil. Not a bit. I was offering him kefir (a yogurt-like milk drink) to chase it down, but have discovered that he doesn't really need it. The strawberry flavor is enough to mask the fishy aftertaste, I guess.

(Riley pretty much drinks kefir instead of milk and since it has the probiotics to keep his gut healthy, I think that has helped too.)

As for me, I'm taking 1 tbs of straight cod liver oil (can you say yuck?!) and found if it's best not to breathe when swallowing and to immediately drink a couple swigs of kefir. I don't suffer the aftertaste that way. So far, I've just had some nasal and throat congestion this season, but nothing too annoying, other than finding that my voice isn't in good shape.














Jonathan has survived without any sickness so far this year as well. This was his arsenal:














Maybe one of all of us will still succumb before the season is out (there is a good two months left!), but I figure we've done what we can to try and keep our body's defenses high. I'll be curious when Riley heads off to preschool next fall and is in the company of more kids on a daily basis. I guess that's when we will really put these supplements to the test.

Shelby

snow day

This morning, we woke up to several inches of wet & heavy snow so we weren't going anywhere. Here's some highlights of our MLK holiday 2010:

Riley got his first "tats":














While J was blowing the driveway, we made "Riley's Mountain" with our neighbor, Gracie:














After lunch, we relaxed with one of the Leap Frog DVDs he got from G'ma Berg for Christmas:













Attempted a nap (which he does sporadically), but after 45 min of tearing up his room, I decided it was a lost cause.

Riley loves the Goodnight Moon puzzle he received from one of J's patients. It has 35 pieces and glows in the dark. He puts it together at least 2-4 x per day. We're missing a piece however, so he always says "uh oh" and I say "I know, it's missing" to which he say "min-ning" in a sad sort of way:














Besides the Leap Frog DVDs and puzzle above, his other favorite Christmas gift was the Fisher Price Laptop that we bought him. It has a phonics game that he has pretty much mastered where they show a letter (upper or lower case) and play the sound of it. He then has to find it on the keyboard in order to capture it.


So that was the highlights of our snow day fun. I managed to get a little business done too -- I started the process of refinancing our home and getting the condo taxes filed. So it was both fun and productive.

Did I mention I have 10 weeks until my due date?? :-)

Shelby

30 days of potty training (and counting)

They say that if you start potty training too early, you'll just be doing it longer. We are a living testament to this truth.

Now, we didn't know if Riley was ready or not, but we did give it our best shot. We went cold-turkey -- no diapers, just undies and trainers. Our boy feels wet and dirty each time he has an accident, so if he doesn't like it he'll be motivated to keep that from happening next time. However, if he's not able to sense his need to go ahead of time, communicate to us that he needs to go, all the while possessing the muscle control to keep from going until situated on the potty -- well, motivation alone may not be enough to complete the training process.

We could just put him back in diapers and revisit this again in May when he turns three. We don't see any problem with that, especially with Kendall arriving in the next 10 weeks or so. Also, I found out it's against the law in Massachusetts to deny a child entry into preschool for not being potty trained. So the pressure's off there too.

After talking about it, we decided to keep doing what we've been doing (See previous PT post here), but allow ourselves the flexibility to put him in diapers overnight as well as when we're out of the house when it would be a royal pain to deal with messy pants. This is what we did when we went snowshoeing last Saturday. The facilities were entirely inadequate for potty training and it was a relief to give ourselves the diaper option and not have to worry about it for a few hours.

So... Riley continues to practice the lifestyle of sitting on the potty at regular intervals, but we're not having to clean up messes from the carpet or wash his sheets 3x per week anymore. Seems to be a workable solution in the interim until all the major life changes of the next several months have passed and he's developmentally further along.

Several lessons we've learned from this experience are:

1) This is a milestone that each child reaches in their own time. It's not a contest. It's not a sign of high intelligence or good parenting skills if a child happens to achieve it on the early side. Kids excel at some things and lag behind in others, just like parents. Right now, Riley is more into the alphabet and spelling words than potty training. Fine by us.

2) A child is truly potty trained when they can sense the urge to go and either communicate the need for help to the potty or get to the potty and hold their bladder & bowel muscles until seated. Putting a child at regular intervals has the parent trained, but not the child. This is the parent directing the process, so the child really isn't trained yet. (It's good practice, however!)

3) If someone tells you that their method works for all kids, regardless of temperament, personality or developmental maturity -- they're trying to Sell You Something. My laid-back, under-no-peer-pressure son is quite content to keep the status quo for now, despite our making him feel uncomfortable in his soiled undies and reminding him how to avoid it next time.

4) Lastly, no child gets on the bus in diapers (or so I've heard).

Rest assured, this is the final potty training update from our family... until it's done, of course!

In other news... we registered Riley for preschool starting in July. My baby boy is growing up! He'll be attending a preschool here in town that's run by a Christian who infuses prayer, Bible stories and Christian principles into the educational process. Early Intervention had great things to say about this school as well as other parents I've met here in town. When I took the tour back in 2008, I was very impressed with their program. So we're pretty excited to see Riley take advantage of the learning opportunities that he'll have there.

Shelby

silence is (not) golden in our house

(be forewarned...this is a long one...we're covering a lot of ground here)

Many of you may remember that the day after Riley was born, the nurse discovered that he had a localized seizure in his right arm. He was immediately transferred down to Children's Hospital where he remained in the hospital for the next 12 days. After putting him on anti-seizure medication and running various tests, it was determined that Riley suffered a stroke in utero due to a blood clot in the left frontal lobe of his brain. We were told that due to the "plasticity" of his newborn brain, it often learns to compensate for an injury. We were further encouraged by the fact that he had no additional seizures and was weaned off his meds within 3 months. So the prognosis was good due to the fact that the stroke happened at such an early age.

Because of the time he spent at Children's, he has been going in for a checkup with his neurologist every six months and they watch for any signs of developmental delays. At 18 months they began to suspect an expressive language delay and recommended that we have Early Intervention assist in some in-home therapy. So for the past year Riley has been getting services from EI to help him with his speech.

At first, we wondered if he was just unmotivated to talk. Riley communicated so well in gestures and sounds that he may not have seen the need use words. We had to stop anticipating what he wanted to see if he would ask for things. Also, he's a contented kid -- maybe he didn't feel the need to have his present circumstances "changed". Since boys are thought to talk "later" than girls, we weren't sure if this was something to be concerned about or not.

After six months of working with EI, we were seeing that he was more motivated and willing to communicate in either signs or speech, tho' still saying only a handful of words. We began to wonder if there was something else going on that was making speech difficult for him. At 27 mos, EI did a full evaluation and determined that developmentally he was tracking along with his peers in all areas except expressive language, which was at an 18 mos level. His receptive language is fine -- he understood us and could follow simple and multi-step commands that he was given, so there were no concerns there.

It seemed that Riley's ability to form certain sounds and consonant - vowel (C-V) combinations was limited. For example, he could say the "b" sound and the "e" sound clearly, but when he tried to say "bee", it came out as "beh". The C-V combo "me" gave him the same trouble. However, "tea" and "knee" sounded fine. He might attempt to say a simple two word or two syllable combo, but it was often not intelligible. Once, he spontaneously said "eggs please" and it came out "eh pwa". If it's more than two words or syllables, he won't even bother trying. And in a few cases, he won't say words that he used to say. "Water" used to come out sounding like "daughter", but now he won't say it at all. So there's inconsistency in what he can say and when he will say it.

Using signs did seem to help him with his speech. After saying "more, more" and using his sign (which helped me to distinguish between it and "mama"), he dropped the sign altogether and now just uses his words. He did the same thing with the only two-word combo he has used consistently or spontaneously -- "all done". Just this past week, he said "me" and "bee" clearly for the first time while our EI specialist was working with him. That was an exciting moment after seeing him struggle with those c-v sounds for the past year.

But as we have a long way to go before he catches up with his peers, we felt that it may be time to have him undergo a full speech & language evaluation by a Speech Language Pathologist. The backlog for an appt at Children's was almost 4 months, so his eval is scheduled for April 27th. I'm anxious to know if they can diagnose what the problem is. Our suspicion is that he may have verbal dyspraxia ("dys" = difficult, "praxis" = planned movement), which is a speech disorder in which one has difficulty in controlling the muscles that are needed for speaking properly. It's also known as apraxia of speech. The brain knows what it wants to say, but can't seem to organize the oral muscles needed to put the sounds together to make words.

One of our resources describes the act of speech like this:

1) First, there's an intention to communicate.
2) Next, an idea forms, outlining what the speaker wants to say.
3) The words for the desired message are put in the correct order, using the correct grammar. Each of the words are comprised of a specific sequence of sounds and syllables that must be ordered together.
4) All of this information is translated into a series of highly coordinated motor movements of the lips, tongue, jaw, and soft palate. The brain must tell the muscles of these “articulators” the exact order and timing of movements so that the words in the message are properly articulated.
5) Finally, the muscles must work properly with enough strength and muscle tone to perform the movements needed for speech.

A child with verbal dyspraxia has difficulty programming and planning these complex speech movements. It is not uncommon for stroke victims to suffer from apraxia. Add to the fact that motor aspects of speech production originate in the left frontal lobe area of the brain (the area where Riley suffered his stroke) and you can see why we suspect dyspraxia as the source of his expressive language problems.

We're sharing this with you -- our blog community -- just to let you know about something that has been very much on our minds and hearts, but had yet to be shared on the blog in much detail. With Kendall's arrival in March and Riley's transition to preschool in July, there is a tremendous amount of change going on in our son's life in the next 3-6 months. Those of you who pray, we would ask for your prayers as we seek guidance from EI and the SLP at Children's in order to help our son communicate more effectively.

If you managed to read through the entire blog... thanks. I know it was a long one, but one I feel much better having written. It's a lot like journaling and I hope to use it to look back and see how God took care of our family as we await to see what lies ahead for us.

Shelby

odds and ends

We generally write blog entries with specific events in mind. That leaves us with all kinds of stuff that doesn't get on here...unless we have a miscellaneous post like this one. This will probably be another long one. So here we go.

Plays well with others...

Young kids play alone together for the most part, so it's a sign that they are growing up when they start to play together. We're starting to see this and here are some examples:

Riley plays with Claudia on Thanksgiving














Riley and Zippy doing some carpentry














Running with the girls

Attachments

Riley hasn't ever shown any attachments to things. Toys, stuffed animals, etc. haven't been necessary fixtures in his life. That's been changing a bit lately as he's taken to carting around the "Blankie" that Shelby's best friend Kathy gave him. This picture just slays me with cuteness.

We have a little Linus running around the house



















Bike Riding

Riley and I have done a lot of bike riding this year and he has gotten to ride his balance bike most times before getting towed around behind Daddy's bike at Lynn Woods Reservation. We did a little of this last year, but our season ended with cold weather during November. This year we were able to make it all the way into December. Here's our last ride:

Last Ride of 2009

Music

Riley loves music of all kinds (and always has.) He once sat and watched Susan Boyle's video over and over saying, "More, more!" every time it ended. In particular though he loves listening to the Foo Fighters in the car with Daddy. Here's a clip that features his favorite:

But Honestly... (the fast part.)

Have we mentioned that our boy has taken to singing lately? He's started doing it in the back seat and when he's playing with toys. Very cute.

Christmas Pictures

With the holiday rapidly approaching we needed to get a good picture for a Christmas card. Riley was partially cooperative (part of the time he melted down) but he did give us some great pictures. One is featured on the blog banner. Here are some others:

He loves standing on something tall and raising his hands up high, "Big boy!"















Post meltdown rest with Mama and Kendall














Christmas card picture that came post-meltdown














Legos

Legos are a toy that Riley has played with on and off for a while. It's only been recently that he's really taken to building things with them though and he can sit quietly with them for an hour or more. Here he is with the Lego Man admiring his work:

Builder of towers



















Booster Seat

Just before Christmas we transitioned Riley from the high chair to a booster seat. Now he sits at the table just like Mom and Dad. It's cool, but we need some kind of mat for him as he loves to dump his food on the table. He also likes to use the table to clean his hands off on.

Looking bigger and bigger














Favorite Christmas toys

Christmas was good to Riley this year. With so many people eager to give him gifts, he had quite the haul. He really loves everything, but here are some of his biggest faves:

Stamps. From the dollar store. You have got to love this about kids.














Trampoline. Now he can jump and jump to his heart's delight (and Daddy's.)

This brings me back to the jumper that he loved back in the early days. I loved that too.

The other big fave has been the Leap Frog DVD set my Mom got him. He can't get enough of the alphabet and word building!

The Mall Playground

Heading into the colder part of the year means that Mama needs to find places to bring her boy so that he can run, play and burn off some of his youthful energy. He loves the playgrounds that mall operators have started putting in all the shopping malls now. Shelby likes it too as it's a fairly comfortable, and enclosed, space. Perfect for a pregnant mom and her energetic boy. Riley has gotten very daring lately which means that Mama doesn't rest as much since he needs a spotter. He loves to climb.

He seems fearless














So he needs a spotter














He loves getting up on top of things and then raising his arms up high















Sliding down backwards and lounging on the slide is fun















Apparently so is sticking his head upside down in the boat or the car. Who knows?















Lights

Lastly, Riley has never lost his love of turning lights on and off over and over. What has changed is how he accesses the lights. He now puts all kinds of things together to help him climb up to them...

He doesn't just stack legos...















I remember when Riley was young people telling me that with each step he would be more fun. With the exception of potty training I'd say that's been true. These are good times.

I love my boy.


Jonathan

adventures in potty training

Potty training. The two words that filled my heart with dread. I really don’t mind the diapers and things are a lot easier when my kid keeps his potty on his bum everywhere we go. I’m happy to wait until Riley tells me he’s interested, as he shows no interest at this point.

A couple of months ago, I realized that we probably shouldn't put it off much longer. With Kendall due in March, my mobility decreasing by the week and Riley’s transition to preschool coming in July, getting him day-trained became a priority.

I checked out a few different methods and figured that I’d give one of the faster, more intense, “Cold Turkey” ones a try before taking the more gradual approach of using trainers or diapers.

I had heard good things about The Official 3-Day Method. I bought the materials and J and I selected the weekend of Dec 19^th for Potty Training Boot Camp. In a nutshell, this method starts with the child helping to “throw away” the remaining diapers and putting on regular underwear. The inevitable accidents serve to give parents the way of learning to read their child’s body cues and teach the children to be aware of their need to eliminate and to communicate/respond to the need right away. The parent keeps a close eye on their child all day long, reminding them to tell them when they need to go and whisking them away to the toilet at the first sign of needing to potty. So accidents are necessary in order to increase awareness of their body cues.

I wasn’t convinced that this method would work for Riley since the thing that made Riley such an angel baby (his laid-back, easy-going, adaptable nature) is the very thing that will frustrate me when I want him to mature and change. I could see him being a child that would adapt to having wet or dirty underwear and not be motivated to use the potty by any means – candy, stickers, excessive praise etc.

Riley's bedroom before and after Dec 19th:

Without boring you with the sordid details, suffice it to say that after 3 days, my concerns were fully realized. Riley did manage to get pee in the potty several times and get a sense of what that felt like. But starting on Day 2, he would show the sign of having to go, be brought to the potty and after a few minutes would say he’s done with nothing in the potty. Then he’d go in his pants within a few minutes. So it became clear by day 3 that he was exercising his ability to control the situation and do what HE wants, not what we want.

As I was talking to my mom about this, she mentioned that she just remembered putting my brothers and me on the potty until we put something in there. Since we are determined not to give Riley (or ourselves) the “out” of having diapers anymore, we needed to find a way to keep him uncomfortable in his accidents, without making a mess all over our house.

We were able to see that Riley was eliminating approximately every 90 minutes, so we had enough info to determine what his “potty frequency” might be. We switched to using training pants (underwear with extra padding in the crotch) with plastic pants over them to help contain the accidents. He gets the feeling of being wet or dirty without us getting the Spotbot out every day.

So we started putting him on the potty first thing in the morning, after meals, before/after naps & before bedtime. In between we put him on every 60 min or so with a several ounces of water, which serves the dual purpose of inciting him to pee as well as giving him something for future elimination. We also moved his potty chairs** to the two most comfortable rooms in the house -- the living room (his playroom) and his bedroom. He seemed to be more agreeable to using them when we moved them from the bathroom. I put a waterproof mat under each potty just in case. As long as he learns what he needs to learn, then I'm willing to keep them there until then.

It’s amazing how much less stressful potty training became after that. We put him on the potty about 12x each day and he has 1-2 accidents per day. We've found that eliminating the TV distraction seems to get him doing his business within a minute or two, so the above pic was actually taken before we changed our tactics. While we continue to remind him to tell us if he needs to go (he has hand signals as well as words he can use), he has yet to actually tell us ahead of time. So while he may be “in training” for months, he’s getting used to the idea of doing it in the potty.

He doesn’t seem to hate having his pants wet or dirty yet and I question whether or not he’s able to sense ahead of time that he needs to go. The more I read on the subject, the more I realize that this happens in every child’s unique timing. There’s neurological, biological and personality factors at work that influence timing (among other factors). I read the average age of boys is over 3 yrs old before they’re trained, so I shouldn’t feel too disappointed if he doesn’t catch on until then. He’s not influenced by peers, parents, candy or other rewards. He’ll do it when he can and he wants to.

Sort of like the idea of predestination, we’re creating an environment for him where he will eventually conclude that it’s better to keep his pants dry. He’ll think it’s his decision, but we know we had a lot to do with it!

Shelby


** We didn't get anything fancy, just a couple of basic potty chairs that were inexpensive.

This is our downstairs potty which we picked up at Target:

We got the upstairs potty on Amazon. It's also our travel potty:

This is his cushioned, collapsible potty seat insert for when we're out and about. It fits nicely into his diaper bag: